Rob Definition Cognitive therapy is a psychosocial both psychological and social therapy that assumes that faulty thought patterns called cognitive patterns cause maladaptive behavior and emotional responses.
I'm an older guy with two young children 3 and 5 who I had with a woman I met about 6 years ago. It's become apparent to me over the last 3 years or so that she hides her drinking from me. It's a struggle for her to go a night without a 'few glasses of wine" after the kids go to bed - how much she takes is a bit of a mystery as she insists on pouring for herself in a different room.
Then there's the various secret stashes I find tins of Gin, bottles of wine etc that are obviously there to act as a top up, or a hit on those nights she can be persuaded not to have a drink.
She's on anti-depressants also and Ive tried to hint that drinking vs medication is a bit of a self defeating approach, but it doesn't make any difference. She insists that she can't relax or get to sleep without a drink and those nights when she appears to be off it she's irritable and hard to be around.
She's got a reasonable sweet spot when she's drinking where she's good company, but hits a point where she's swaying and slurring and can be quite antagonistic towards me. Given the secrecy I'm not sure what that sweet spot is. She wants to get married, I've said to myself that I will not marry her as I don't want to be legally tied to someone who has this problem.
It's hard enough to fathom a route forward with two kids and a joint mortgage without the legalities of a marriage certificate hanging over me too. I want her to be happy and I want the relationship to work out for the kids and for both of us also.
On the other hand the deception and the unpredictable behaviour makes me angry and tense a lot of the time and we suffer as a result as I have simmering resentment and can't bear to look at her sometimes and I struggle to be civil.
This passes though and I convince myself that the problem will resolve itself when the kids get older and it's a harder habit to hide from older children so she'll have to change. She is a good mother, I can never deny that and from my point of view I think hope that her responsibilities will overcome the desire to drink as they become more aware.
She rarely drinks or gets drunk in front of the kids. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want my family to work, I want my partner to become more healthy and less reliant on alcohol. On the other hand I hate myself for compromising so much, biting my tongue and maybe just being stupid thinking it'll all work out in the end.
I don't want to start dropping ultimatums as it'll doubtless wind up driving a wedge between us. Not sure where to go next, if I make my feelings clear it will be seen as an "attack" but on the other hand I'm struggling to keep my frustrations in check and I question the future all the time.Mar 23, · Write about one of your self-defeating behavior patterns.
One of my self-defeating behavior patterns is I don't ask questions in class or participate in class discussions.
A self defeating pattern is a pattern of you doing habitual actions such as criticizing others, never asking for help, or excising regularly. more guilt and reinforces the self-defeating, negative behavior and attitudes that led to the need to cope with life’s problems with alcohol or drugs in the first place.
The Women for Sobriety “New Life” Program provides an alternative to. You want to turn your desired behavior patterns into habit patterns.
This means that you need to repeat good trading behaviors so many times many many times, . To stop sabotaging yourself, you need to figure out your patterns of behavior and then find creative ways to counteract them and form new habits.
Here are some of the practical strategies I suggest in my book.
Mar 23, · Write about one of your self-defeating behavior patterns. One of my self-defeating behavior patterns is I don't ask questions in class or participate in class discussions. A self defeating pattern is a pattern of you doing habitual actions such as criticizing others, never asking for help, or excising regularly. more guilt and reinforces the self-defeating, negative behavior and attitudes that led to the need to cope with life’s problems with alcohol or drugs in the first place. The Women for Sobriety “New Life” Program provides an alternative to. Understanding the relationship between your family beliefs and negative feelings is an important step toward putting a stop to self-defeating behavior. We all have a strong emotional reaction to our parents, but if these feelings are too strong or too negative, we tend to bury them in order to protect ourselves.
Nov 13, · #1. Write about one of your self-defeating behavior patterns. One of my self-defeating behavior problems is, that i seem to not do all of my writing center assigments since mostly all of them have to be typed. Write about one of your self- defeating behavior patterns.
One self defeating behavioral patterns that I have is my intake of fast food. I say time and time again that I want to eat healthier, however I see myself weekly still eating fast food.